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Lest you begin to think I have digressed too far from my original point, let me bring us back to the present time. I feel high school graduation does not signal the end of our home school education, but merely a change in the direction of our education. We are no longer responsible for teaching book knowledge, rather it is now our duty to gently guide our young man until he is ready to head his own household; to train our young lady until she is able to successfully perform the tasks before her. The security of home continues to cushion them as they venture out into the world. Their experiences can be shared with those who helped to form their worldview. Instead of being confused by what they find in the world outside their home, they can continually examine and explore their findings with their parents. They can pursue their educational or career goals without the heavy burden of financial strain. They can build a nest egg that will serve as the foundation of their own home. While it is true that we can learn from our mistakes, I do not believe it is a requirement. Just like I believe school lessons are better learned when they are "delight-directed" rather than forced on our student, I believe the lessons of life — at least the early ones — can be learned under the loving guidance of a parent. I recently heard Dr. Jeff Myers describe a conversation with a parent who had sent her son off to college. Within a matter of weeks, her son had turned completely against her and all she had taught him. Dr. Myers' point was that this young man had not been given a Christian worldview on which he could stand when faced with the godless philosophies of a secular university, and I certainly agree with that conclusion. But I would go one step further and say it is almost impossible to have completely grounded our young person before they have the opportunity to interact with that secular worldview to the degree faced by a high school graduate. Keeping our young person at home allows us the opportunity to see his reactions, guide his understanding, and keep him grounded in his Christian worldview until he truly is able to stand on his own. While I certainly look forward to my son's high school graduation with anticipated pride and joy, it is his wedding that will bring to me a true sense of completion. When I see him with his chosen bride, standing as a man at the head of his household, then I will know my job as his home school teacher is finished.

In conclusion, I would like to stress that I am not saying it is entirely impossible for a home school graduate to be successful if they leave home immediately after graduation. I know many young people who are living in university dorms or pursuing careers without being totally corrupted by the world around them. But I have seen in these young people a common factor — an extremely close relationship with their parents. They maintain close contact through e-mail and telephone communication. I do feel these particular young people face a higher level of challenge and would encourage parents to be very thoughtful when helping their children make choices for their future. If their options require physical distance from home, these options should be viewed as "high risk" and every precaution should be taken to protect these young people from ungodly influence. If my children choose a college that is outside commuting range, I will most likely seek a Christian home that accepts college students as boarders. I feel this would offer a higher degree of accountability and less opportunity for temptation than the more contemporary living arrangements of dormitory or apartment. Yes, this goes against what "all the other kids" are doing, but after 10 years of homeschooling, I'm quite accustomed to going against the grain! My children have been raised with the knowledge that our family does things differently. While it is true that I have heard, "why can't we be like everyone else?" more than once, I have also been gratified to have my teenage son tell me he is thankful for the difference. I know our decision to shelter our children through home schooling has brought a sense of security missing in many households. I don't expect to hear the battle cry, "I can't wait until I'm 18!" I look forward to being an active part of my children's lives for many years to come.

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Copyright 2001, Mary James. Article may not be reprinted in any form. For permission to reprint, contact the author at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or (512) 639-9341.


This article first appeared in the February, 2001, issue of the Texas Home School Coalition REVIEW magazine, distributed quarterly to readers free of charge. The REVIEW focuses on current events, thoughts from home school leaders, and resources and services to help with teaching at home.



 
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